I have had a girlfriend for more than a year and I think we are both ready to make love for the first time. I want to use condoms and would prefer her to take oral contraceptives as well. But I don’t know how to bring this up. Won’t she find me pushy?

It’s completely normal that you are a little nervous to talk about contraceptives. It’s very smart to think about this ahead of time. I don’t think your girlfriend will find you pushy. Normally girls are only relieved and grateful if a guy takes the initiative. Talk about it when you have enough time, feel relaxed and you aren’t kissing or petting. You could say something like this: “If in the future we would make love, I think it would be a good idea to use condoms in combination with some other method of birth control. What do you think?” Because you leave the date open, she won’t feel pushed. If you are for whatever reason unable to talk about it beforehand, make sure you always have condoms with you and that you know how to use them. Practise beforehand. If you are ready to have intercourse you can take the condom and put it around your penis. You don’t have to talk about this: it’s self-explanatory. After the first time you can tell her that the condom by itself is not completely safe and ask her what other method she wants to use in addition in the future.